Archive for December, 2009

A horrible blight is afflicting our young people. From the streets of Parramatta to the alleys of Darlinghurst, teenagers and young twenties are suffering; it is a modern scandal. We should be ashamed that they cannot afford the bare necessities. Ashamed! Please give generously to the Buy A Belt Foundation. For the gods’ sake, our [...]


Last week, heading up the coast for Christmas, I decided to take a taxi to my parents’ place rather than hang around Gosford Station for 20 minutes waiting on a bus. Somehow, the taxi driver started talking about climate change. Honestly, I DID NOT START IT. “Oh, all these scare mongerers,” she said. “I mean, [...]


Tree sock

21Dec09

Once when I was in London, I dropped my beanie somewhere near the Houses of Parliament. I was halfway across Westminster Bridge before I noticed. I was crushed. I loved that beanie. I got it in Bulgaria. It had ugly little flaps that tie under your chin. It was the one thing that kept me [...]


Their work is done. They pause for a wee break. Ah, says Number Nine. That was a good day. We lit up as much as we could. And now we’re done. That’s a good day. But Number Six looks doubtful. Maybe all this work isn’t worth it. Maybe it’s not all it could have been. [...]


Drain the last of the dregs. Put down the drinks, eat one last crisp. Screw the lid on the ginger beer. Check your phone. Check your Facebook. There’s another party down the road. Tim says it’s just starting. This one is over. We can clean up tomorrow. Can someone hit the lights?


Clearly the backstreets of Redfern/Darlington support a powerful posse of Malaysian patriots and Edward Lane is their headquarters. Can’t see the evidence of their zealotry? Look again.


If you’re ever wandering around Newtown and need a nap, or just want to put your feet up for a bit, or just want to plonk your butt on a nice soft chair you’re in luck! They City of Sydney Council has installed these lounges on Buckland Lane just for you! I note that they’re [...]


Literate slugs

04Dec09

I really wish slugs and caterpillars could read. I spend around 10 minutes every day in my garden, looking under the leaves of my herbs and vegies, looking for the little fuckers. They destroyed my basil. They’ve devoured my mint not once, not twice, but THREE times – mint, however, is extremely durable and keeps [...]